習慣就好。

Such a rare thing that I'm posting on CNY eve. It's even more rare that it's going to be an emotional post. People who don't want to have their spirits dampened please just skip this whole post.

Happy CNY to you.
& bye.

It happened so suddenly and it's just...unbelievable. I pinched myself over & over again last night to make sure that I wasn't dreaming and it hurt so badly every time. It's a mixture of guilt, sorrow, sympathy..and everything negative. I can't help wondering if my uncle had truly found his own happiness in life before it ended.

Why is life so cruel?

It has been so many years since I last seen him. And this time after so many years, I'm seeing him at his funeral. He wasn't able to make it past CNY.

And it didn't help that I'm seeing all the reunion photos on instagram, facebook... I'd say it's pure jealousy. And I probably sound like I'm just absorbed in self-pity. The last time I had a reunion dinner with my whole family was..14 years ago? I miss the festive atmosphere so dearly. I miss buying new clothes before CNY, I miss playing black jack with all my relatives, I miss travelling to tainan to have the 2nd, 3rd, 4th..and many more reunion dinners with my maternal uncles, aunts and cousins...

Well it's really great that people are happily celebrating this festival with their loved ones and it's a pity that some couldn't. I mean it's supposed to be a festive season. People are supposed to be happy. I should be contented with life like how I've always been for the past few years.

But why has life decided to make such a drastic change this year?

Guess I'm just still in the stages of denial and anger of Grief. This post is so incoherent.

Okae bye.

習慣就好。

Such a rare thing that I'm posting on CNY eve. It's even more rare that it's going to be an emotional post. People who don't want to have their spirits dampened please just skip this whole post.

Happy CNY to you.
& bye.

It happened so suddenly and it's just...unbelievable. I pinched myself over & over again last night to make sure that I wasn't dreaming and it hurt so badly every time. It's a mixture of guilt, sorrow, sympathy..and everything negative. I can't help wondering if my uncle had truly found his own happiness in life before it ended.

Why is life so cruel?

It has been so many years since I last seen him. And this time after so many years, I'm seeing him at his funeral. He wasn't able to make it past CNY.

And it didn't help that I'm seeing all the reunion photos on instagram, facebook... I'd say it's pure jealousy. And I probably sound like I'm just absorbed in self-pity. The last time I had a reunion dinner with my whole family was..14 years ago? I miss the festive atmosphere so dearly. I miss buying new clothes before CNY, I miss playing black jack with all my relatives, I miss travelling to tainan to have the 2nd, 3rd, 4th..and many more reunion dinners with my maternal uncles, aunts and cousins...

Well it's really great that people are happily celebrating this festival with their loved ones and it's a pity that some couldn't. I mean it's supposed to be a festive season. People are supposed to be happy. I should be contented with life like how I've always been for the past few years.

But why has life decided to make such a drastic change this year?

Guess I'm just still in the stages of denial and anger of Grief. This post is so incoherent.

Okae bye.