- 21:09:00
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
hahaha what's with my trend of blogging on odd numbered dates man~ ;D
*scroll down & realized that i blogged on 1st, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 9th & today, 11th of august!*
*gives unbelievable look. O:*
okae i better cut the crap! D: *smacks myself back on track*
well, the main thing i am going to talk about is this little convo between meichun & me today while waiting for our buses to arrive. we were discussing about this certain issue & somehow i feel that it is passion that should be the main concern behind this whole thing. yes. passion. a long-lost term in my life. then somehow i was quite shaken by meichun's rebuke of not having the position to exercise that passion will only let the passion die out. yep i do not deny that it is not true. so somehow i started doubting my own perceptions on passion.
boarded the bus, slept, reached home, dinner-ed, online.
& read meichun's post.
“i think im sinking into all the negativities of this material world.
for one, ive discovered my fundamental loss of faith in the boundless power of the human mind.
while waiting for our buses, jung and i were talking bout this certain issue and she said "it's not the position that matters, but the passion". and i immediately rebuked, "but if you dont have the position to exercise that passion, what use is passion, then."
yes, very skeptical of me.
my point exactly.
i came home and i thought about it, and i realised that yes, it actually, in fact, boils down to the power of the human mind. To which direction the human mind is willed to believe in, to which direction is that reality collasped into. Too often are we told of all the limiting factors in this world, that our perceptions have been altered to accomodate this 'reality', or so we call it. Simply put, our inabilities are in fact caused by our negative beliefs more than anything else. We are who we think we are.
Maybe I've been through too many setbacks that I've started to lose faith in the power of 'sheer will', which is precisely what the centre of my lower sec life, NP, has been trying to inculcate in us. Our seniors were so zai last time. Why? Because their beliefs were strong. They were confident, they believed in who they were and their abilities, thats why they were that close to perfection. They were skilled in using the force of the mind; they were disciplined enough to dictate their own NP stories. They steered reality in a certain path based on their own mental strength. which of course translated in determination, preseverence, hard work, and ultimate success...
I need to wake up from this trance and dictate my own reality. And the key is passion and will. I wanna find back that feeling I once had so very long ago=D”
& then, inspired. [okae the inspire'09 people must love me! haha]
somehow it reminded me of CT'08. & how, me & chuxi got into CT even without going through CT interviews & CT selections. it dawned on me that it is really the PASSION that ma'ams were looking for in all of us. what's the point of being really good in hard skills but in you, the burning fire, the passion for NYCT, is not there?
i think, & believe, that passion is the ultimate motivation behind all those improvements. passion was the thing that drove me to work so hard as a pegger. passion was the thing that filled my NP life with those fond memories of the past, be it CT or not.
so now, looking at my NCO-ship coming to an end, i wonder if the passion is still there.
looking at my current state of life, i wonder where the passion is.
looking at __ being unhappy about the decisions made, i wonder where the passion is.
quoting from meichun, "Simply put, our inabilities are in fact caused by our negative beliefs more than anything else. We are who we think we are." i found myself fitting really nicely into that picture. where is my "force of the mind"? where is my PASSION?! ):
this is just like the concept of 敬业，乐业。
loving what you are doing.
把热情投入在你现在正在做的一切，就会发现，不管身处在一个多么恶劣/困难的处境，你也可以排除那些种种的不可能，达成最终的目标。
YES. i have to sustain my passion.
& i want my passion back.
i NEED my passion BACK!
PASSION for NYNP.
PASSION for studies.
PASSION for german.
PASSION for piano.
PASSION for taekwondo.
PASSION for hillary challenge.
PASSION for everything i do.
我要让热情来主宰我的人生!
*shoo-s away all negative mindsets, shoo-s away the old & shaggy sian feeling*
RAWR YES. PASSION! :D
oh yeah, passion[fruit] is nice. xD
*plays 2NE1 FIRE to shoo away the randomness*